Dear VH1,
There was a time, many many months ago, back when you played videos, when I was smart enough to know better than to send you a letter expecting a response. Unfortunately, that day has passed.
My fascination with your programming began because I too love the 80s. So much so that every time you think of a new way to revisit the 80s a euphoric high comes over me as millions of my brain cells die. I can’t wait for this decade to end so we can remember it.
You have glorified stupidity with such elegance and seamlessness that only today did I realize you haven’t played a video in two years. Last night I learned from watching your show that Britney Spears’ dog wears Von Dutch. Thank you VH1, I am whole now. How much VH1 will I have to watch to become stupid enough to get my own show on your channel? I ask this with the utmost respect and admiration. I have invented a machine that I call the VH2. Eminem sits on it and it blows smoke up his ass. I have lost my train of thought. Thank you VH1, I love you.
**VH1 did not respond.
Please enjoy my other letters: Orange Julius General Mills
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